“Being confident is not cocky & putting yourself down is not humble”

My brilliant husband spoke these simple but profound words to me last night, and they cut straight through me into my soul. I realized then that for most of my life I have operated under this defense mechanism: make fun of myself, beat myself up first, so that way, other people don’t, and if they do it doesn’t hurt as bad because I’ve already said the same thing to myself. Alex called this out in me last night as we strolled the streets of Dallas on our date night, tears instantly pricked my eyes. I dreaded the words he spoke. “Putting yourself down is not humble.” I have spent so much time believing a lie and operating under the false pretense that I was somehow holy and humble because I intentionally put myself down and refuse to think or speak kindly about myself. Somehow his piercing words also felt somewhat like a life preserver, I don’t have to operate like this anymore, I don’t have to speak all these lies over myself in a desperate attempt to appear “humble.” I get to be kind to myself and allow myself to be humbled by the Lord…

I realized that my false humility was coupled closely with a fear of cockiness. “Being confident is not cocky” Woah. I can honestly say that before hearing that phrase, I would not have been able to differentiate between the two in my brain. Alex so clearly reminded me as we talked that the two are not mutually exclusive, a confident person is not automatically cocky. God wants us to walk confidently in the gifts that He has blessed us with, to hone in on our talents and skills and glorify Him with them. God has intricitally, beautifully crafted me with everything pertaining to life and Godliness, He has equipped me with wisdom and joy and His word so that I can be truly successful in what I do. I think the key here is being able to speak life over yourself; speak those biblical truths over yourself instead of agreeing with Satan and the lies he speaks that you are not good enough. Agree with heaven and speak over yourself what the Lord sings over you every single day. 1 Corinthians 3 says this “for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are” (v. 17) We ARE God’s temple, we were bought with a weighty price so that we get to be holy like he is holy. I love Paul’s confidence as he talks about this, he knows his place in the kingdom and is so incredibly confident in his standing with the Lord. He recognizes that he is holy because he is joined with Christ. What a beautiful thing, we get to have confidence in who we are and what we do, because we know who created us and what he created us to do. THAT is what godly confidence is, not trusting our own strength and abilities to carry us through and make us the best, that is cockiness. There is a difference, whether five miles or five centimeters, there’s a line between confidence and cockiness, and I think in the church this needs to be known. I know that there are so many people out there in the same boat as me, raised to believe that we are but a worm upon the earth and that if we were to utter a kind word about ourselves, we would be smited for arrogance. hahahah okay yeah that’s a bit extreme obviously, but in all seriousness, we should be creating a culture that neither exemplifies putting yourself down, or being cocky and arrogant, we should be living in the healthy middle or knowing our identity in the Lord and walking confidently in it, while keeping in check that we are not boasting in ourselves and our own strength. Okay okay, I think you get it by now hehehe, thanks for being here and reading, I hope with encouraged you! muahhhhh 

lots of love, 

em