I was in the shower the other morning and a random memory floated into my peripheral – a moment a few years ago in premarital counseling. Jake and Jenna Richter, aka the best people ever, were the ones to perform our wedding and our premarital counseling sessions. This particular memory occurred on our last, or one of our last sessions before the wedding. They asked us the big question before leading into our weeks discussion of intimacy, “have you guys ever had sex?” I know, a zinger right? But in these sessions we discussed everything, and we were honest. “No” we told them truthfully, and just because I couldn’t help it I jokingly added, “oh no actually we’re pregnant.” Amused, I chuckled at my own joke and followed up with another, “Okay, well we’re done here” I teasingly pretended to voice their disapproval. What Jenna said next though is the line that years later I still can’t shake – she looked at me square in the face and said, “if you were, we would throw you a baby shower.” I don’t think I fully processed the depth of love and genuine support that ran through those words until much later, but now I still turn them over in my mind. — Growing up in the church I was taught like any other good Christian that I was supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. I carried this truth as a law written on my heart, while I watched others stumble in this area and struggle not only with their internal shame, but also the condemnation placed on them by others. I’ve seen countless people leave the church because of instances of that manner. I had never seen the opposing side though, the side that I believe Christ truly dwells on, love and acceptance. While we obviously were not actually pregnant (given the no sex thing haha), just to hear those sweet words from a highly respected mentor felt like a sigh of relief and a  breath of fresh air at the same time. Even if that was our circumstance, there would be no shame from them, only love, and a celebration of new life! I want to be that kind of friend and mentor. The kind that comes alongside others where they are, not with a rod of judgment and shame, but with a heart open to loving them when and where they need it. The reality is that the enemy loves to work in shame, it is one of the greatest perceived barriers between Jesus and His people. If the enemy can get God’s people to believe that they are too dirty or too broken, or that others will not accept them for who they are or where they are, then they will ultimately turn from God and turn from the church. We don’t need to be this barrier, it is unnecessary and unhelpful to everyone involved. My heart cry is that we become a body that echoes this line from Jenna, we will shower you with love and celebrate you where you are! “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭1) We are new and redeemed in Christ, He does not deal in condemnation and neither should we! I hope this anecdote and ramblings encourage you and call you to a higher standard. Thanks for reading!

lots of love,

em 🤍