Life has looked a lot different recently. In all honesty, it’s been hard, but a lot of good lessons are being learned. With Alex out of a job for two months, and relying only on my not-quite-enough-to-cover- everything paychecks, money has been tight. Dreams have been squashed as our savings account slowly slips lower and lower in the midst of  life happening, cars breaking down, college loans, groceries, birthday presents. None of these things are bad, it’s just hard when it means sacrificing dreams of travel and adventure for mundane life occurrences. At the same as this though, the Lord has been faithful, just in the last couple of weeks, we’ve had random money popping up here and there which others might think of as coincidence, but I believe can only be a sweet kiss from Jesus.

 Alex’s car is not doing great right now, and we have thus been condensed to one car, which makes work pickups and drop offs a bit challenging as he has to be at work by 8 and my work day doesn’t start until 10. I’ve become a 5:30 a.m. person, which even to my overly enthusiastic self, can be a stretch at times. I’m having to be okay with doing my makeup in the car everyday and carving out time in my mornings for things like laundry and dishes. My nights are full of cooking and cleaning, gardening and working on projects. I’ve had to learn that grocery shopping has to be done before work, or on weekends. As much as I would like to be a stay at home wife who shops during the day and bakes bread and gardens in the afternoon sunshine, that’s not my life. I planted seeds the other night at 10 p.m. I’m having to learn that instead of complaining and wishing things would magically change, I have to embrace where I am right now and be content with the things I didn’t expect. I’m learning to give myself grace on the nights I feel I couldn’t possibly make another dinner or edit another hundred photos for my fashion projects. I’m learning that I can do all these things with Jesus, because He is my strength and my joy. I am also learning the quiet beauty in things. As much as life feels rushed now, I feel the Lord is showing me how to slow down in the midst of it. He is showing me how to appreciate the splendor in my morning walks post dropping alex off to work. He is teaching me to look up at the clouds and birds and stars and to look down at the squirrels, sprouts and blooms. There is a whole world of wonderful things the Lord created for us to enjoy, and I for one am guilty of often missing that fact. 

The other day I was in the car after dropping alex off, thinking of school zones and tiredness and what I was to do for my hour before work. In the midst of that swirl, the Lord so kindly interrupted my thoughts to remind me of a prayer I prayed some months ago; my prayer was that alex and I would have more time together, that I would take greater advantage of my mornings and that I would have time to spend in nature every day. Boom, just like that, it hit me. I was right then living in the exact answer to all of those prayers combined, and was completely oblivious to the fact. I instantly began to praise the Lord for His hand in all of it. If I stepped back and changed my perspective of ungratefulness, I could see His fingerprint so clearly. Isn’t that how He always works? He works in the mundane, frustrating, and seemingly insignificant moments to bring about answers to the prayers we’ve prayed and forgotten or didn’t really believe would come about (if you’re anything like me…). He is so gracious to remind us of His faithfulness even when we are bent on our own selfish ungrateful view. Thank you Jesus for being that good to us, to me. I just love you 🤍

thanks so much for reading,

lots and lots of love

em ✨